Average Love Poems

by Julia Alexander

/
  • Streaming + Download

     

1.
2.
3.
4.
01:31
5.
00:20
6.
7.

about

thank you, ryan.

credits

released May 13, 2013

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

Julia Alexander Connecticut

I'm a part time poet and a full time cry baby. If you get too close to me, I'll write a really emotionally confusing poem about you. It'll be exhausting for both of us.

To contact Julia for inquires of all sorts e-mail juliaalexanderpoetry@gmail.com
... more

contact / help

Contact Julia Alexander

Streaming and
Download help

Shipping and returns

Track Name: Final Warning
Never fall in love with a writer
because she will fit you on
a piece of paper with words
that feel stronger than
either of you ever could.
Track Name: Spring Awakening
I finally admitted to myself that I really like you
as I fell asleep under streetlights, driving home in your car.
But still I tried to tell myself that this can’t be true.
You have the heart of a blue jay and a nest
that’s just too far away from mine.
I didn’t think I could bring myself to cage you.
But I sure hope I can bring myself to fly with you.
Our first kiss tasted like chocolate,
sweaty palms, a pool table, and punk rock.
Everything about that night was
a total disaster. We were yelling and thrashing
and throwing punches in a crowd of strangers
and when your lips came crashing into mine,
I found god in the spaces between your teeth.
I was shocked that a sinner could
want to spend that much time
in church.

We get lost just about every time
we go somewhere.
You can never seem to get the directions quite right
but I don’t mind
because you can’t promise me that
we’ll get there on our first try
but you always promise me that
we will get there eventually.
You have never let me down before
please don’t start now.

Maybe this isn’t going to last forever
but I think we have to try because
ever since I met you
I don’t just sing in the shower anymore.
I have rock concerts.
I have lions in my veins wreaking havoc on my life
because when you’re here
I can’t be the lion tamer anymore.
But more importantly, I don’t
want to be the lion tamer anymore.
The best parts of me run wild when
you are around.
I put out empty jars to try and collect
all of the beautiful things you say to me
like the rain water dripping off the porch,
I sleep with your sweatshirt wrapped
around my pillow in the hopes
of dreaming that you’re here again.
But I only ever dream up lines to songs
I’ll never be able to put music to.
This is one of those songs.
This is not a love poem.
This is an I-really-fucking-like-you poem.
And I am so sorry if that is too much
too soon for you.

Holding your hand as I was drifting off
to sleep that night I think I tried telling you that
I was falling for you and I listened to you
breathing as we passed under streetlight after streetlight
just praying you would say it first.
It feels like we will never have the courage to
jump off that cliff.

But maybe, maybe it takes more courage to climb
up that cliff.
You are still a few paces ahead of me.
I am wheezing and falling behind but
I promise that I will catch up to you soon.
I cannot promise you that I will
get there on my first try.
But I promise you I will
get there eventually.
I have never let you down before.
Why would I start now?
Track Name: High Wind Advisory- Strong Gusts Likely
My mouth dried out when you called
to tell me all about the dignity and longing
that you spilled into a stranger’s heart.
When you whisper to me, it is an ocean breeze.
I can feel the saltwater lapping at my ankles
still.
I wondered how many of my lines you
whispered to her as casually as the wind.

When your love finally breaks me down,
I will throw my head back, and I will laugh
like the child I really am,
tangling jump ropes on the sidewalk,
enjoying the breeze on an afternoon in May.
I used to think we were so different,
but we are the same.
We are both just kids playing double-dutch
with our heartstrings,
hoping we don’t end up in knots.
I used to think you were still pure
enough to have flowers growing up your veins,
but you have weeds like the rest of us.
We are sad children with decaying insides,
pouring our morals down strangers’ kitchen sinks.
We are the same.

I could try and blow the puffs of my dandelion heart
as far from here as I can.
But I’d much rather bloom with you.
I’ll even take the weeds.
I’ll never let the wind pick up these seeds.
Track Name: Flutter
Flutter
My phone is pressed tight against my face as
my butterfly eyelids start to flutter shut.
I listen to your breath rushing to me over the lines,
heavy, calm, tidal-
pulling any doubts I’ve ever had out to sea.
I hope your waves never push them back ashore.
I wish I could be pulled in by your currents tonight.
Even though I can’t, it feels so close.
Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.
We have nothing in common with horse shoes-
I guess that makes us hand grenades.
I’m ready to go off brilliantly in your arms.
But, maybe we’re more like landmines
because I tread so carefully through fields of grass,
catching glimpses of the wings of butterflies.
I am steadfast, determined to not set anything off
tonight. Please not tonight.

Still listening to your waves of breath crash over the phone,
finally I give in to the heaviness of butterflies.
Save your landmines.
We’ll disarm them in the morning.
Track Name: Baby
baby

i try to think of
any reason to break you,
never show me how
i remember how
you touched me when i told you
you’re all i think of.
i am jealous of
anyone who can see you,
when i still don’t know how.
Track Name: Anchors Aweigh!!
Sometimes when we are together
I like to just sit in silence.
I think you understand that
it’s not a matter of
having nothing to say.
It’s a matter of not
being able to say anything right.

I hope you understand.
I will tip-toe through the
bedrooms that you are asleep in
in your mind.
I cannot promise to not wake you-
I am clumsy, but I promise
to always make you smile
after I turn on the lights
in rooms you didn’t realize
I was still standing in.
I will run my fingertips
lightly over the faded scars
of your old wounds as if they are piano keys.
I promise to never leave more behind.
I will sprinkle seeds, planting flowers in your hair.
I will watch them bloom.
I will watch you bloom.

I am anchored in my own ways while
trying to sail on the winds of you.
I am a lighthouse patiently waiting
to guide you home to me again.
I will brush my hands against yours
until you grab them.
Do not let them go.
Do not let me go.
We need all hands on deck.
Track Name: Decisions (I Love You)
I listen to an owl outside my window
as I try to fall asleep tonight.
I wonder what he’s trying to say.
Eventually, the sound and the thought are drowned out
by your heavy breathing.
With your head pressed up against my chest
everything finally feels as if it’s in the right place.
The jigsaw pieces of my battered heart are
finally put back together.
The chaos is finally put to rest.
She is asleep in your arms.

I am sorry for all the words that
spill out of me quietly. Toxic and sour,
they taste like spoiled milk.
They slip past my lips, salting wounds
that we both struggle with every day.
You have no reason to forgive me.
I say I love you as
I drive knives into your ribcage,
but I am sorry.

That owl once told me that
love is a decision- not just a feeling.
I decided so long ago that
I am going to love you and
let myself be loved by you.

He’s still outside chattering away
and I am still awake,
listening to your breathing,
wondering if I made the right decision,
wishing I could ask him,
but already knowing
he would say
yes.