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Figuring the Rest Out As I Go Along- (taken from Me and The Dirt)

from Selected Chapbook Poems by Julia Alexander

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lyrics

Figuring The Rest Out As I Go Along
I think so much.
I should really have something figured out by now.
I should really know a thing
or two
about the way
a hawk circles
and then its inevitable decent,
about the way
a girl unravels
and subsequently sheds her skin,
about the way
a body rots
and eventually is forgotten.
I should really know a thing
or two
about that.

I’ve got thoughts,
too many thoughts
like two snakes fighting to swallow
each other whole,
like phones ringing off the hook
on both ends of the line,
like a tap that won’t stop dripping
no matter how hard you tighten the bolts.

And, people have tried to snuff
me out so many times
I cannot tell the difference
between the ashes and the new,
between clean linen and filthy rags,
between me and the dirt
I rise from.
You can hurt me if that’s what you want to do.
You can smash my head on the pavement,
and you can watch my legs keep twitching afterward.
You can shove my head underwater,
and you can watch my eyes pop out of my skull.
You can watch me crawl away
tail between legs
every time you spit my name.
You can hurt me if that’s what you want to do.

But I see something
at the end of this tunnel
just a candle flickering
but I still see it.
You can’t blow that out.
You can’t blow me out.
You can’t stop these thoughts from
slipping out of my throat.

Trust me.

I’ve tried.

credits

from Selected Chapbook Poems, released June 5, 2014

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about

Julia Alexander Connecticut

I'm a part time poet and a full time cry baby. If you get too close to me, I'll write a really emotionally confusing poem about you. It'll be exhausting for both of us.

To contact Julia for inquires of all sorts e-mail juliaalexanderpoetry@gmail.com
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