How Could I Forgive Myself When You Still Aren't Here?- (taken from TO BE A FLY ON THE WALL)

from Selected Chapbook Poems by Julia Alexander

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lyrics

HOW COULD I FORGIVE MYSELF
WHEN YOU STILL AREN’T HERE?
i cannot forgive myself for
swallowing poisons in the hopes
of drowning every thought
i have of you.
i cannot forgive myself for
letting other men swallow me whole.
he told me my skin tastes
like cherries and menthol
with pieces of my flesh still dangling from
his teeth. i didn’t wipe my blood away
as i kissed him goodbye.
i will not forgive myself for
trying to erase you from my notebooks.
you are staining my skin like the coffee
i spilled all over every page.
you’re stuck to me like leeches.
i don’t mind letting you drain me.
i’d like for you to drain me.
start sucking out all the poison.

credits

from Selected Chapbook Poems, released June 5, 2014

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about

Julia Alexander Connecticut

I'm a part time poet and a full time cry baby. If you get too close to me, I'll write a really emotionally confusing poem about you. It'll be exhausting for both of us.

To contact Julia for inquires of all sorts e-mail juliaalexanderpoetry@gmail.com ... more

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