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Prelude (Quick Confession)

from Accepting the Facts by Julia Alexander

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about

sorry, dad

lyrics

As I roll over and realize
you are still curled up only a breath away
my roommates get up and go to class.
But I learn more watching your eyes
dart back and forth behind their lids
than I ever did in a lecture.
It’s a good thing I withdrew.
It’s a good thing I like spending Tuesday mornings with you,
walking my fingertips up and down the length of your spine
as you sleep through a day we could be having.
My roommates all make new friends,
while I am watching you sleep
and I realize I never want to
see anyone else do anything else ever again.

When my parents find out
that I don’t really go to college,
I’m pretty sure they’ll kick me out.
And, when my college finds out
that I don’t really go to college
I’m pretty sure they’ll kick me out.
But for now none of them know,
so for now I’m skipping classes,
and pulling your arms around me all day
in a bed we hardly fit in
I’m trying to believe that the world will spin slower
the longer we stay in my room.
It is still spinning.
It is still spinning.
I am watching you sleep.
Everything is still spinning.
My roommates come home in the afternoon.
The world is still spinning,
and I am still watching you sleep.

At night when we finally have woken up
we drive around aimlessly in a city
neither of us have grown into yet. We will never grow into it.
And we spend my parents money
living a life we couldn’t afford on our own.
You play music in bars we can’t drink in
about things we don’t really talk about.
And I take pictures on my camera
on rolls of film I may never get developed.
I capture 32 moments then stuff them in my sock drawer.
And my roommates get drunk at parties and stumble back
to get sick in our shared bathroom.
At least I think they might do that. I am never there to see it.

As the sun rises we get back to our temporary home.
We take our clothes off, but leave the lights on.
I work up the courage to show you every scar and every birthmark that line my skin.
You trace constellations in the freckles on my back
and I see every star reflected in your eyes.
My roommates want us to be quiet. They are all trying to sleep.
They all have class in a few hours.
They can’t lay in bed and wait for the world to stop spinning.

credits

from Accepting the Facts, released November 1, 2013

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Julia Alexander Connecticut

I'm a part time poet and a full time cry baby. If you get too close to me, I'll write a really emotionally confusing poem about you. It'll be exhausting for both of us.

To contact Julia for inquires of all sorts e-mail juliaalexanderpoetry@gmail.com
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